How to Make a Relationship Last
1/6/2020
Some where along the line, most of us commit to being in a relationship for the long haul. And, lots of these relationships fail. For some, that’s a good thing. There’s no joy staying in a relationship that isn’t working. For others, maybe not so good. Maybe an opportunity to step into how to make a relationship last was lost.
So, what’s the secret?
Nope. We’re not going down the “5 secrets to….” road.
Instead, this is an invitation to look your relationship squarely in the eyes (Yep, your relationship has eyes and as we’ve talked about earlier sees and knows things) and say “Hell, YES!” to what you see it wants for you and your partner. An invitation to say, “I’M READY!” to no-kidding LEAD in my relationship because………
Which leads us to our first point:
I really want this relationship to work. Not "I hope," or "I wish" or "It would be more convenient," or certainly not "It would be easier if." Rather, you've got to really want it to work. If not, you may stay, And, it won't be in a relationship that works.
Ok. Say you know you really want your relationship to work. Now what? Think of the following as possible doorways into getting more connected to what your relationship wants. There’s no right or wrong way. No prescribed process or order. No secrets……Just doorways.
See your partner and let your partner see you. Literally. Get knee to knee with each other and look into each other's eyes. And, ssimply notice. Stay with this for a few minutes. It may feel uncomfortable at first. What does that tell you? The point is to nitce and stay. And, notic some more, When your few minutes are up, share the experience you had with your partner. Seeing and Being Seen is an essential part of intimacy.
Dream together. What's really important here is that you don't try and figure anything at this point or get caught in the "Yeah but..." trap. These are dream killers. This isn't Pollyannish. This is the stuff that wildly fulfilling relationships are made of. Health, vibrant, alive relationship crave growth. Growth that feels alive and joyful requires an inspiring vision, And, inspiring visions are born from daring to dream together.
Prioritize Fun. News Flash: Fun isn't just for dessert. It isn't something you need to earn, work for, finish something first before. It's an essential, front an center priority for relationships that sparkle. Your "to do" list will eat fun for lunch if you let it. That's why we say prioritize fun. If you don't, it likely won't happen. Watch out for the trap that Fun must ve something big, dramatic, surprising, expensive. over-the-top. Nothing wrong with those things. It's just that we can get so attached to these conditions that the fun rarely happens. Don't wait for that trip to the Bahamas to dance under the stars. Try dancing in your kitchen and watch your relationship smile.
Lasting Relationships crave connection. Choosing to step through one or all the doorways above is a choice to bring deeper connection into your relationship. Which doorway or doorways you choose will depend on what you see when you look your relationship in the eyes and see what it wants.
Remember, there are no secrets. Just opportunities to choose and lead.
Like what you’ve read? We’ve got Part 2 and Part 3 cookin’ in the oven.
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